Top 15 What NOT to do's at a Gym for Dummies

I recently polled a large group of my friends on social media (sounds a lot better than saying "Facebook" right?) and asked them for their greatest annoyance or pet peeve at the gym.  They range from dangerous technique, to proper etiquette, to coming off like a total tool.  So what I'm going to do is compile a list of some of them and give my take on them, scale from 1-10 on how severely you should not do this at your gym.

1.  SQUATS ON THE SMITH MACHINE (LIKE A BOSS)

This one used to bother me so much.  It's dangerous, especially if you have no base in understanding the proper mechanics of a barbell back squat, ie. foot, hips, knee position and movement.  My biggest issue is smith machines that don't move perpendicular to the ground, and instead of a straight plane against gravity, they are fixed at an angle.  Even if there's a good reason for this angle, does anyone clueless enough to be doing this movement really have the smarts to figure which way they should face in relation to angle?  Okay, I kid, but seriously, if you're doing these and are fairly new to the gym, stop now.  I'm not going to hate on gym vets who've been doing them for years or bodybuilders doing it.  Just don't tell me what your squat max is if it's a smith number.  Same goes for bench press, which is another one I do NOT recommend.  A big advantage of free weight movements is the bar naturally finds a pathway that is free of leveraging against your joints ie. if the bar touches too low or high on chest in bench press or if it isn't centered over the middle of foot in the squat.  My friend also added he hates when trainers have people squat on the smith machine.  Yeah, personally I don't like seeing anyone do anything on the smith machine (maybe shrugs?) as I don't really understand the reasoning, but there are so many things that some trainers have clients do that have such high risk for so little reward, it's not a huge pet peeve of mine to see this.  Okay, I've said enough.  If you want a more detailed explanation, just give "smith machine squats dangerous or not" a Google search.  There are plenty of articles out there.  I give this one a 9/10 if you are new to the gym and looking to start doing barbell movements.  Learn them with an actual barbell.  If you already have been doing these for years and your body doesn't seem to mind, I definitely recommend trying to learn the free weight variations if you haven't already, but I'll give this one a 5/10 to the experienced lifter.  Still not something I'd recommend, but hey, you aren't standing on a stability ball with 225 on your back, so at least you have that going for you.

2.  NOT WIPING OFF SWEATY EQUIPMENT, YOU GUNCHY ANIMAL 

My rule here is pretty simple.  Take a look around and see how others handle this one.  In a gym where everyone is wiping their equipment, follow lead.  If not, I recommend just worrying about visible sweat ie head marks on benches.  If you are really a big germaphope, you should consider wiping down the equipment before you use it.  This one doesn't really kill me, but I definitely understand people taking issue. But if you're gross and have sweat pores like a geyser, do us all a favor and mop up after you're done soaking the place.  And if you stink, just don't come to the gym at all.  7/10

3. QUARTER SQUATS (FOR INSTANT PR'S)

Yeah, they suck.  They're dangerous.  And you look stupid telling people your new squat max.  I personally don't care what you do so much when it doesn't affect me, but for your own good, don't do these.  Don't brag about them, and for the love of God, don't get your friends to tape you doing these so you can not only let everyone at the gym know but everyone on your Facebook and Instagram know how much of an idiot you look like at the gym.  You don't need to bottom out, you don't even need to break parallel, but quarter squats are almost always a result of squatting solely with a knee break.  It's dangerous.  Put some weight in the heel, break in the hips, and squat deeper.  9/10

4. FILLING YOUR GALLON JUG UP AT THE WATER FOUNTAIN, YOU ASSHOLE

If in theory, you do this and don't let people who are behind you go ahead, you're terrible.  I have zero issue with "jug at the gym" guy.  It's practical to us people who understand how important hydration is, but fill it up before coming to the gym or make sure you don't make anyone wait more than 20 seconds while filling up.  I think that's a pretty good time limit.  If you break that rule and cause others to wait, I need to go ahead and give you a 10/10.  The most severe acts at the gym are ones that affect the others around you.

5. NOT PUTTING THE WEIGHTS BACK

Who are you?  You are the worst.  In what world do you think it's okay to leave 8 45 pound plates on a leg extension ?  Moronic, inconsiderate, prick.  We all saw you maxing out 2" leg presses with 20 plates, we don't need the reminder after you're done.  Put them away.  11/10

6. NAKED OLD MEN BEING WAY TOO COMFORTABLE BEING NAKED OLD MEN

Yeah.  It's pretty weird.  I mean, I respect the security and comfort.  Maybe it's generational.  But, it's definitely weird.  You can whip it out a few seconds while changing, but do us all a favor, face your locker, and respect the 5 second rule.  Also, wait to get caught up in conversation until after putting on your old school whitey tighties.  We all know how bad men are at multitasking, so please, don't try to do anything else but get dressed while getting dressed.  Also, don't lurk the sauna waiting until the second a normal looking dude (my friend) walks in there to come in all Harry Johnson-like and be way too open about it.  This has to be a law.  A guy isn't allowed to blatantly show his junk to a girl, why should he be allowed to show it to me?  I'll take a point and a half off just because I do respect the casual, secure nature of it all, but unfortunately, it's your dick we're talking about.  8.5/10

7. SNAPBACKS, SELFIES, AND JORDANS FOR THE WIN

I am one of the least fashionable people I know.  I wear black band shirts, black gym shirts, jeans, cargo shorts, and black gym shorts.  And everything goes well with Chucks.  I have zero room to talk.  I'm going to piggyback off this one for a second and add in another one as well.  To me, one of the biggest annoyances at a gym is anyone dressing or acting a certain way for some sort of attention.  I hate glamour at a gym.  If you prefer to wear a hat, wear it.  If you prefer to wear jeans, wear them.  If you prefer to wear a spaghetti strap tank top, go ahead.  However, there is nothing more annoying than someone trying so hard just to get your attention.  You usually know who these people are, because they get seriously upset when they find out that, believe it or not, people think it's silly that they wear flat brimmed hats, dress coordinated with their workout partners, take a large abundance of selfies and wear T shirts that are adolescent machismo bro drivel.  In contrast, there are two guys that go to a gym I work at.  One wears flannel, jeans, and work boots or flip flops.  The other wears Family Guy pajama pants and baggy cut off shirts.  They are two of my favorite people at the gym.  They seriously have absolutely no concern with what anyone else thinks.  They do what they want and happen to enjoy attire that doesn't fit gym norms.  So what?  So, while assigning points, I'm going to say, if you're doing it because that's what you want, it's a 1/10.  Good for you.  This is a gym do, not a gym don't.  If you are doing it because you want everyone else to see how cool you are, no one likes it, you look dumb, and it actually does the opposite of what you think.  We aren't hating out of jealousy, it just so happens that we really and truly do think it looks dumb.  If you're cool with everyone thinking you look dumb, then you are perfectly fine, but if that affects you, wear some plain athletic clothes and stop thinking we want you to be like that.  Let me reiterate, since I do work at gyms, I have plenty of friends, even good friends, who I think dress silly.  Some of them even try too hard and do it for the wrong reason.  Even I look like an idiot at the gym at times.  Just go ahead and do yourself a favor, dress and act how you truly want, not to impress the rest of us.  For those doing it for the audience, 10/10

8. GIVING STRANGERS ADVICE LIKE THE GOOD SAMARATIN YOU ARE

Be respectful.  Don't go up to someone crassly and tell them how terrible what they're doing is.  Introduce yourself, explain why you might be able to help them, and see if they want the advice.  If you really are educated and they really are clueless, you are doing a good deed.  But if you want to impose your whole "don't arch your back, it's dangerous!" or "I heard squatting deep is going to kill your knees" nonsense, keep it to yourself.  Since this doesn't really happen to me, I guess it doesn't resonate quite as strongly, so I'll go with an 8/10.  However, I could see this one being the absolute worst 10/10 depending on the scenario, idiocy, and frequency.

9. WEARING NEXT TO NOTHING (BUT HATING THE ATTENTION)

I know, women aren't just sexual objects.  I think men are typically pigs.  And, I don't think it's okay for a guy to blame you for staring at your ass.  However, what are you thinking?  Do you know what men are like?  If a ripped guy wears a tank top, people are going to stare at his muscles.  If you wear shorts that show the crest of your butt, men are going to look.  I'm not saying it's right, but it's 100% a fact.  However, I have to give this a 1/10, because really, just keep wearing the yoga pants.  Please.  Thank You.

10. I HAVE STRONG LEGS, I LEG PRESS 1,000 POUNDS

I really don't care if you don't squat.  But seriously, please, stop telling us how strong your legs are because you leg pressed the weight of your car.  Clearly, if YOU can do it, chances are it isn't that impressive and only the people not in the know give a damn.  You can't squat a good set with your body weight.  Don't think you  have a strong lower body.  Let me guess, you max out the standing calf raise and peck deck, too?  Cool, you and every other "bad ass" does the same thing their first time in the gym.  And while we're at it, I don't care that you only work your upper body, but stop telling me you don't need to work your legs at the gym because they're strong from being on your feet and going up ladders at your job.  Really?  You know, being that this is a gym, we are blessed with the appropriate tools to test how strong your legs actually are (given that this isn't a Planet Fitness,) and no, we are not going to start on the leg press.  8/10

HONORABLE MENTIONS:
11. NOT WIPING YOUR MUDDY SHOES OFF AT THE DOOR - Do you have zero sense?  10/10
12. TOE SHOES - 3/10, but please don't think they look cool.  They are the clogs of athletic shoes.
13. GUM IN THE TOILET - At any age, this is dumb, but if you're an adult, I hate you. 10/10
14. DROPPING DUMBBELLS - It's annoying.  Certain dumbbells can break this way.  It's bad for the floor.  9/10
15. MAXING OUT EVERY DAY - It's stupid.  We all think it's stupid.  Even you think it's stupid when it's someone else.  You're going to get hurt and it's really not that effective.  7.5/10

Just to wrap things up, here's the good news for those of you upset to be reading some of these like looking in a mirror, now you know!  All of the non annoying gym people got together, had a meeting, and ruled that this is what is annoying at a gym.  It's just the way it is.  Don't sweat it, we've all been that person.  Remember, smart people do dumb things.  The only ones I actually think are rules are ones that actually definitely affect others like leaving plates loaded, muddy shoes, trying to be a stranger's personal trainer, gloating about PR's etc.  As for the other things, if you do them, own them.  Own your hat, own your quarter squat, own your smith machine, because really, while we may think it's dumb, we aren't the ones getting hurt by it, and I'm just a guy in all black, messy hair, unkempt facial hair, wearing Chucks.

The "Intellectual" Approach to Weight Training aka "How to Pick Your Nose While Working Out"

Something that has stood out to me as long as I've been working out, and at times I've fallen victim to the thought process myself, is the over complication of working out.  I refer to this as the pseudo-scientific approach to lifting.  Someone feels like they have an intellectual understanding for working out and as a result, instead of learning programming and exercises on their own, they try to create and invent their own methodology.  Sounds pretty innovative, right?  Well, when you see it in person, 99% of the time, it is not as prolific as it sounds.

Have you ever seen the person at the gym that just does everything different?  They always throw their legs in the air during bench press because it "isolates" the chest, they use random machines like the calf raise machine to do their shoulder presses, they stand on a bosu ball doing one legged squats with one arm doing a bicep curl and the other picking their nose.  Okay, I digress.  You get my point.  And in fact, sometimes they do things that are cool to try or do on occasion.  The problem is, that's the foundation of their workout. They always have some super specific, seemingly logical explanation for why the way they're doing it is "better."

Let's just break down a couple of these more common "advanced" movements for a second.   Let's look at the basic bosu ball shoulder press.  A person stands on a bosu ball while holding two dumbbells and performs shoulder presses while balancing.  They will say (like many of these exercises) it is focusing on stability and their "core."  Well, there is some validity to that.  And you know what, there may be some benefit.  But, just looking at the main movement, the shoulder press, let's say you can shoulder press with 35 pound dumbbells (70 pounds.)  Now, while standing on the bosu ball, you can only do 20 pound dumbbells (40 pounds.)  That's at least a fairly realistic weight comparison.  Now, if you're capable of doing 70 pounds for 10 reps but wind up only doing 40 pounds for 10 reps, what you've done is completely hindered your shoulder pressing capability and reduced their workload almost in half.  You've also put yourself in a position to allow weight to move all around while trying to balance, putting extra risk and leverage against your shoulder girdle.  If you're familiar with fulcrums and basic leverages, you can imagine, the weight shifting in front of the body even an inch, then laterally, then behind the body, etc is all extremely risky.     But at the end of the day, even if done "properly," you're still not allowing your shoulders to be worked nearly as well.  You're missing out on an opportunity to get seriously stronger because you'd what-- like to work on your core and balance?  Can't you do that some other way?  Or couldn't you do that occasionally?  Squatting standing on a mattress would be difficult and require much more stabilization and balance, but it doesn't sound like the best way to squat, right?  I can promise you, the best strength coaches and best squatters in the world aren't squatting standing on trampolines every week.

Even the very common "legs in the air isolates the chest" bench press is just... wrong.  Legs in the air will influence a flat back.  When your back is flat, the fulcrum and bar path will be in line with the shoulders.  When you arch your back (which requires getting your feet under your body,) you will now be pressing in a plane over the meat of your chest, incorporating much more chest than the unorthodox method (which is hard on the shoulders.)  On top of all that, just like standing on the bosu ball, you are now doing less weight and as a result, working your chest less than if you just put your feet on the floor like every damned expert in the entire world.

I could breakdown all of the goofy things people pass off as intellectual lifts, but that wouldn't fit my point.  My point is that people are abandoning the lifts that the experts want you to do.  It's not that there is never a benefit to these unorthodox methods.  There can be.  But why are you trying to do one arm dumbbell bench press, if you've never even learned a regular bench press?  Why are you doing squats with one foot on a a step, if you've never done a traditional squat?  These "basic" (they're anything but) movements are the foundation of every program used and written by experts when trying to make serious progress.  The ceiling on these unorthodox movements is typically low because of the hindrance the modification puts on the lift.

And the weirdest part is, these people usually think these variations will help the primary lift more than the primary lift itself.  They think these weird bench variations are going to be the missing link to a 300 pound bench press whilst stopping regular bench pressing all together.  It just makes zero sense.  Sure, doing dumbbells can help your barbell movements, but if you had to guess which one is more vital to increasing it, I'd hope as the intelligent reader of my blog that you are, you'd realize doing the actual lift you're trying to improve is more important.

To be honest, a lot of personal trainers are to blame.  Don't assume we're experts.  We're not.  It's easy as hell to get a training certification.  Don't trust me, trust the experts -- ie. Mark Bell, Steve Maxwell, Joe DeFranco, Kelly Starrett, Jill Miller, Mark Rippetoe, Ivan Abadjiev, etc.  A lot of local gym trainers like these goofy exercises because they  make you rely on them.  They'll constantly show you complicated variations of a lift, have no regularity in your routine, etc so that you don't feel like you could do it on your own.  Either that, or they too think they know more than world renowned experts themselves, when in fact, most trainers don't know a clean from a reverse curl or a low bar squat from a high bar squat, but they can definitely teach you how to do one legged hack squats while holding a dumbbell and counting to 3 on the way up and down.  A lot of times, you're being sold on the coolness of the lift -- it looks so extravagant and fun, just like fitness fads that come and go, but you know what else is fun?  Getting stronger.  I can't tell you that my way of doing things is right, but I can tell you it is all based off renowned people and not just some thing I concocted since I took a test that virtually anyone who pays for passes.

Look, just squat, bench, shoulder press, row, deadlift, clean, front squat, throw in the occasional accessory or two and be a bad ass like you know you can be and stop picking your nose while standing on one leg.  

"I Don't Want to Lift 'Heavy' Weights"

This is such a common phrase you hear among people who have never gotten under a bar and have likely stuck with fitness classes, the same weight on machines for years, or spend a lot of time with a 5 pound dumbbell in one hand, one foot on a bosu ball all whilst picking their nose.  Okay, I digress a bit.  There is seriously nothing too wrong with anyone doing just that.  However, the problem lies with their view on what "heavy" weight really is.  I think sometimes it's an issue of insecurity, like the guy who points at the biggest bodybuilder at the gym who seemingly has quite the pharmaceutical hookup and says "I want to put on size, but I don't want to get THAT big." as if having 22" arms is such an attainable goal if only they "wanted" it.

Alright, let's break this one down.  "Heavy" is a term relative to your own individual strength.  A lot of times I hear this from women who have a fear of lifting, so for now, I'll use a female example.  A woman might look at another woman doing squats with a mere 25 pounds on each side and say "I don't want to lift heavy like that." to which I would ask, "What do you consider heavy?"  Is it something you can only lift 3-5 times?  Is it a set in stone number like 75 pounds?  100 pounds?  What exactly is it?  I'd like anyone reading this who has shied away from barbell lifting to pick a weight they could only squat 4-8 times.  Probably somewhere between 35-55 pounds as a novice.  So, to you, that is "heavy."  What about 25 pounds?  You could squat that maybe 15 times?  So, I'm assuming this is a weight you wouldn't consider "heavy."  Here's where relativity comes into play.  When you see one of my female clients squatting 135 pounds, it's not heavy.  If they can squat the weight the same 15 reps as you can with even a generous 45 pounds, then isn't it of equal difficulty?  And if you think your skill is with higher reps, and theirs is lower reps, the same person squatting 185 pounds for 8 reps can probably squat your 45 pounds 100 times.  This isn't trying to cut you down.  After all, you're just a hypothetical piece to this puzzle.  And the good news is, if this does sound like you and you don't like it, you can change it.

So, if you both have been working out the same amount of time as someone else, why are they able to do more reps and weight as you?  It comes down to a progressive training style.  If your workout is done with the same weight, the same reps, for the same amount of sets, done under the same amount of time, you are never going to progress.  You will look and feel like someone who can only do the workout you've been idling at for multiple years.  But, if you just took the simplest approach to linear progression, you could make such a change in appearance and strength.  So, for example, if you are squatting 45 pounds for 15 reps and want to stay in that rep range, every time you hit a weight for 15 reps, you graduate to 5 pounds heavier your next workout.  Every time you get 15 reps, you go up.  Next workout 50 pounds, then when you get that 15, next workout 55 pounds, etc.  Now, this might not have you squatting 200 pounds in a few months, but it's very realistic for you to be squatting 90 pounds 15 times in 4-6 months depending on workout frequency.  If you were squatting 45x15 and now you're squatting 90x15, you've literally had a 100% increase in strength.  You are now, in mere months, TWICE as strong as you were before.  Now, instead of looking and feeling like someone who can only squat 45x15, you look and feel like someone who can squat 90x15.  This is how true body transformations happen.  You cannot do the same thing every workout and expect anything about you to change.  And in the end, this 90 pounds isn't so "heavy" after all, is it?  (Answer that in 4 months)

 And no, as a woman you don't have to worry about waking up with a gigantic neck and 20" arms.  Look at all the boys hanging around the curling bars every day and still have small arms even with the advantage of testosterone.  Some women definitely have genetically pronounced traps and shoulder muscles, and if you are worried, you can back off on targeting those muscles if they start to grow too much, but this is a very extreme case.  More than likely, you don't have to worry about it.  The women you are likely scared of turning into, you likely cannot.  Anyone who looks like a total "freak" (I say that with all due respect as I think most of the gym freaks would wear the term with a badge of honor) is likely using some sort of anabolic compound that allows them, through intense training, to look like such a beast.

The main takeaway here -- do not go into the gym and do workouts of an equal difficulty week after week.  Weight isn't the only thing you can increase workout to workout.  You can increase reps, perform more sets, reduce the total workout time, increase the rep speed, etc.  But, as a beginner, you really don't want to shy away from getting under a bar and putting some weight on it.  The only people who don't like it are the ones who don't seriously do it.  I'd trust the people who actually do it.  And, if you are in fitness classes, try to find a way to improve every time you go.

General Workout, Nutrition, and Supplement Tips

Workout Tips:

1.  Utilize full range of motion in every movement possible.  Heavy weightlifting with a shortened range of motion will significantly shorten muscles.  As muscles grow thicker, they often become shorter.  Full range of motion will help prevent shortening and a lot of times lengthen muscles.  

2.  Compound movements are the way to go.  The more joints used in a movement, the more effective and efficient it typically is.  Every bench press has a tricep extension, every squat has a leg extension, and so on.  Single joint isolation movements can be added, but for mobile, beginner lifters, it really shouldn’t be a focus.  These movements also translate the most to day to day life, athletics, and overall quality of life.  

3.  Technique is the most important thing when it comes to working out.  It’s important to be in a safe, efficient body position.  If you have trouble with posture or mobility on certain lifts, it needs to be addressed immediately.  Squats are amazing but only when done correctly.

Nutrition Tips:

1.  Don’t worry too much with the timing of your meals.  There’s a lot of controversy when it comes to when you should eat, but at the end of the day, food stays in your bloodstream for approximately 16 hours after eating.  Protein is available for muscle growth, carbs are available for energy, and so on.  In contraire to the common view of small meals spread throughout the day being the way to go, a lot of experts and studies suggest positive results from intermittent fasting, Warrior Diet, and other types of diets that require long periods of time without food.  At the end of the day, it generally comes down to what you eat on average in a whole day’s time.  

2.  One of the easiest ways to lose weight and be healthier while continuing to do it for the rest of your life is adjusting YOUR diet.  Strict diets and crash diets are a great way to lose weight immediately, but they do not teach you how to eat permanently.  You don’t need to be 100% organic, eat zero sugar, and drink solely water to see and feel great results.  Making a few adjustments to how you eat is all it takes to jumpstart overall health and weightloss.  Write down your diet for a week, see what you can modify reasonably, and see what happens in a month’s time after several changes.  Some examples include cutting out beverage calories, changing bad snacks to good snacks, and monitoring portions.

Lesser Known, Life Changing Supplement Tips:

1.  Iodine - There are four halogens we are in constant contact with; iodine, fluoride, bromine, and chlorine.  They are stored in the same part of the body and unfortunately, iodine is the lightest of these four.  As a result, it gets flushed out the body by the other three.  Studies show anywhere from 70-90% of adults are iodine deficient.  Iodine is utilized in practically every cell of the body; it is used by the thyroid, regulates hormone levels, promotes mental health and many more things.  Essentially, iodine deficiency can make you overweight, lazy, depressed, weak, and sick.  Supplement iodine (kale is a natural source), switch to fluoride free toothpaste, check bread for bromine, and avoid chlorinated pools as much as possible.  

2. Cordyceps - This mushroom is one of the best kept secrets today.  Studies show that cordyceps can reduce your resting heart rate a staggering 6-8bpm in just a few weeks of supplementation.  It regulates hormones, reduces fatigue, and has shown to improve oxygen utilization up to 50%.